Love.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NLT)

But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13 (MSG)

Lately, I've been learning to love. More specifically, I'm learning to love even when it hurts like hell.

Love? Pain? Really? Yes, really. For those of you who haven't learned this yet, love hurts. Sometimes it hurts to the point of physical pain. It hurts because you can't control the other person's actions. You can't make everything better. When they hurt, you hurt. When they push you away, it feels like they're stabbing you in the chest repeatedly. When they're happy, you're happy. The list could go on...

For me, part of learning to love has been learning to let go. To let go of trying to control someone. To let go of trying to fix them, and to place the person in God's hands.

Something I'm learning is that letting go and giving up are not equivalent. I'm letting go of her, but I'm not giving up. I still hold on to hope. I still stand in faith that one day, she will see the truth. I'm believing that when that time comes, she'll come back. And if she doesn't come back to me, then I'm believing that there will be someone there who can guide her back to the Cross.

I refuse to give up. I'm not a quitter, and I'm not quitting on her.

But I am letting go.

"Learning to love even in the pain is far harder than coming out of your own pain."
~ Shandi Bleiken